The Melody
by lizzyleefree
Summary: Raj is dating an amazing woman, but he is so frustrated with himself for still not being able to talk to her! What shocking twist might finally unloose his tongue? Will it be too much for their relationship to stand? One shot.


_Prologue: Leonard had to go to the doctor a few months ago for a particularly noxious dairy reaction. The woman treating him was Dr. Ragini Kapoor, a tall, friendly, cheerful woman who moved into the states from India when she was a small child. He heard her say to one of the nurses who asked her for details on her bombed date the previous night that she preferred "quiet, sensitive, and mysterious guys." The nurse cackled and walked off, saying those guys only existed in tacky romance novels._

_Normally, Leonard would not have butted in, but Raj had been abnormally depressed about his love life, or more like the lack thereof. The fact that even someone with no sexuality like Sheldon got a girl before him left him constantly saying he would either die alone or with a house full of cats. Leonard, being the friend that he was, knew it was worth him saying something._

"_Excuse me, Dr. Kapoor?" she looked up at him and he cleared his throat nervously. "I, um, sort of accidentally heard what you just said and I know a guy just like you were describing."_

"_That's sweet, Leonard, but you're not really my type."_

"_Um, no, it's not me." Ouch. If he didn't have a girlfriend already then it would have really stung to be rejected by a woman he wasn't even trying to hit on, "It's my friend, Raj."_

_To his relief, her eyebrows rose with interest and she smiled. "Raj? Sounds Indian. At least my parents will like that. So, is he really 'quiet, sensitive, and mysterious' or are you just being a good wingman?"_

"_No, he is…" Leonard shrugged and looked away before muttering, "although he might be disproportionally quiet compared to the other two traits."_

_Ragini sighed, "What the hell? All I have to lose is a night of my time, right?"_

_XXX_

Rajesh felt truly terrible. Here he was eating a gourmet dinner he cooked up, with the girl of his dreams, and he couldn't speak a word to her. He watched Ragini laugh as she told him a hilarious story of a man who stripped down naked and began to cluck like a chicken at work that day.

That woman could tell a story about grass growing and make it captivating. Her huge, glistening brown eyes came alive when she told a story. She often stood as well, using grand motions with her long, elegant fingers to bring the tale to life. Rajesh always imagined in the back of his mind when she talked what a great mother she would make to tell stories to their children. Of course, they'd only been dating two months, but Indians think about marriage pretty quick, especially with hounding parents.

Rajesh pictured them married all the time. Even their names flowed well together: _Rajejsh and Ragini._ It sounded like a melody, just like her voice. He supposed this was why her parents gave her a name that literally meant "a melody," although how they could tell a screeching baby would someday have the voice of a goddess he had no idea.

He continued to stare at her, thinking sickeningly sweet and romantic things. The fact that his inner monologue sounded like a woman's was probably why so many people assumed he was gay. Of course, the fact that he just cooked her pecan salmon with sauce drizzled on the plate in the shape of little hearts probably did not help his straight rep, either- nor did the fact that he was wearing a purple argyle sweater.

"Rajesh, this sautéed chard is amazing!" exclaimed Ragini between chews, breaking his train of thought, "I am really lucky to have a guy like you, because I feel like the only Indian girl on the planet who's not good at cooking!"

Rajesh smiled graciously, and reached for that stupid, overused composition book- the _only_ way he was able to talk with her. They had conversations for hours with him only speaking in writing, but lately he started to resent having to use it. Howard was hounding him mercilessly lately about not just getting drunk around her (oddly enough, he could only talk to women when he was intoxicated).

"Raj?" questioned Ragini, placing her hand on his arm, "What's wrong?"

He sighed and snatched the book, writing furiously on it, _"I'm sorry. It's just really been bugging me lately that I still can't talk to you."_

There was a pause as she leaned over to read it before she said with a giggle, "Well, we can always try getting you drunk again."

Raj rolled his eyes and scribbled _"Don't remind me!"_

The one time she had ever seen him talk, it was their second date at a bar. Long story short, he took off his pants, told her about the time he pooped himself when he was 14, and stared hungrily at her cleavage talking about what it would be like to 'motorboat' her. He was very adamant ever since then that he would never rely on alcohol to talk to her because, on top of being an unhealthy crutch for a relationship, it was mortifying.

"Ok, I know we don't want to repeat that." agreed Ragini, "How about we do a little exercise?"

Raj gave an expression of interest for her to continue.

"Leonard told me about your train trip when you _thought_ you were drunk, and you talked to this hot girl just fine. The alcohol just gives you confidence; it doesn't do anything different to you!"

Raj looked at her skeptically, plotting revenge inwardly for Leonard telling her that story. He jumped a little bit as Ragini slammed a glass of water on the table.

"I want you to drink that and pretend the whole thing is Vodka!"

Raj sighed laboriously and flopped back- like he hadn't already tried stuff like this after the train incident.

"Please, baby, for me?" Ragini asked sweetly, "You know I don't mind, but I hate how upset you get over it."

Raj smiled at her, picked up the glass, mentally readied himself, and chugged the whole thing.

"Oh my goodness, Raj! You are crazy! You must be so slammed!" Ragini exclaimed, trying to help him believe he didn't just drink water.

Raj started to sway and smile crookedly like he did when he was drunk. _Fake it til you make it,_ he thought.

"Come on, honey!" whispered Ragini in a playfully sultry voice, "Tell me you love me."

Raj looked her in the eye, took a deep breath, and opened his mouth. All that came out was a very faint and adorable _squeak! _Raj face-palmed and blushed furiously. He was so ashamed he didn't even want to look at her.

"Oh, Rajesh, I'm sorry!" moaned Ragini, trying to get him to look at her. "I'm shouldn't have pressure you! Let's just forget about it for now."

Raj finally looked up and gave her a pained look. She stroked his cheek tenderly and he leaned into its warmth. "It will come with time, ok?"

Raj gave her a weak smile before scrawling in the book again, _"I'm tired of taking time. I want to take our relationship to the next level, but I don't feel right asking you for that when I can't speak to you. What will your parents say when they find that out?"_

Ragini sighed, looked Raj in the eye, and said "Believe me, if we got married your speech impediment wouldn't matter at all to my parents. They would just be glad I found a man willing to marry me."

Raj furrowed his eyebrows with confusion and scribbled, _"Why? I don't know what guy wouldn't want you."_

"Well, I know you think that, which is sweet, but there are still things you don't know about me." There was an awkward pause. Raj was unsure what to write, so he stared at her for further explanation until she mumbled, "I mean, we haven't even had sex yet."

Rajesh's face lit up like a kid in a candy store and he scrawled down quicker than lightening _"Does that mean you want to?"_

He saw an inner struggle play across her face very quickly before she scooted over, leaned in, and gave him a long, deep kiss. Raj reciprocated, not nearly as shy with his tongue as he was with his words. She was about two inches taller than him and had lean, athletic arms that entwined around him. She backed up, leaving her boyfriend breathing hard, and said "See? You're not the only one who can communicate without words."

He smiled and leaned over her, taking her in by the small of her back for another kiss. To his disappointment, though she backed away.

"This isn't right, Rajesh. I have to tell you before we take this step." She got up and paced back and forth nervously.

Raj gave her a concerned expression before writing, _"We don't have to do this tonight. I want you to tell me when you're ready."_

When Ragini read it she gave him a quick, passionate kiss because of his overwhelming sweetness and said "Oh, Raj, I've been ready to tell you this so long, I'm just afraid if _you're _not ready."

Raj saw tears welling up in her eyes, wiped one away as it was about to fall, and thought about what to write, _"I love you. Whatever it is, I will still love you."_

"Alright, I'm not going to give you the back-story yet. I'm just going to come right out and say it." Raj stared at her with anticipation, "Rajesh, I used to be a man."

There was a long pause before Raj bolted up with a disgusted look and yelled "AWW, DUDE, WHAT?"

"Look, I know this is a lot to take in, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to see me for a while. I just want you to know that I was not trying to deceive you! It's just not something to bring up on the first date and I never knew how to tell you." Her face was frightened and pleading.

Raj was quiet for a long moment and Ragini dared not fill the silence like she usually did. Finally Raj said, with a stunned look on his face, "This is why you're so tall."

Ragini just looked down and nodded bashfully.

"This is why you can't cook. Parents in India don't teach boys that."

"Raj, I-"

"Your parents didn't even name you Ragini! To think I almost asked you tonight how they knew their new baby would have a voice that was like a melody!"

"You're right, Raj, I changed my name."

"What was it?" asked Raj urgently.

"What was what? The reason I-"

"No, what was your real name? When you still had a sausage flopping around?" he spat.

Ragini recoiled back. She had never heard him phrase something so vulgarly, but she knew he had a right to be angry, "Does that really matter, Rajesh? That's not who I am anymore and I don't want you thinking of me as him."

Raj put his hands on his hips, hung his head, and said flatly, "No, I guess it doesn't. I think you should leave."

"You mean for good, or until you've had time to think about it?" Ragini's voice was barely above a whisper and tears quietly streamed down her face.

Raj drew in a haggard breath and pinched the bridge of his nose before mumbling "I don't know."

Ragini marched towards the door and paused only to say "You finally talked to me sober, Rajesh. Congratulations."

Raj resisted the urge to look at her as she left. He heard the door close. He heard her walk down the stairs followed by silence. He did not allow himself to move until one minute passed, then three, and then five. Finally, he plopped down on the chair and sat almost motionless. She had to be far down the road now, so it was too late to chase her anyway. He just thought for a few hours. There were a lot of questions he had in his mind, but the one thing he knew was that he instantly missed her.

He wanted to say there was no way he could do it, because he honestly was not attracted to men. He felt a little grossed out, repulsed, and deceived when he thought about it with all the prejudices he had. However, when he thought about her as an individual, with her long, elegant body, soft voice, shining, waist-length black hair, and bright smile, he knew he was still very much attracted to her, just as he was before.

He wondered if he could really stand just how _weird_ she was for long term, but then he remembered all of his weirdness that she had embraced, never trying to change him. No woman had ever wanted his prolonged company once they discovered his selective mutism. Even his mother (who he could talk to) pressured him every time they spoke to go see some different counselor or psychiatrist, saying he would never get married if he didn't fix it.

On their first date, Ragini suggested a carnival (which, to Rajesh's horror, had no alcohol). She was only a little surprised when she discovered he could not speak to her. Then, without missing a beat, she took out her iPhone and suggested he used the notes section to talk to her. They were able to talk about all sorts of things that night- their favorite Indian children's stories, their annoyance with their parents, their mutual by-name-only practice of Americanized Hinduism, their careers, and their groups of friends (he was surprised by how many gay friends she had, but now it made sense). He could tell she was not just humoring him out of pity, either. She laughed and smiled and gazed at him like she genuinely liked him, and just saw past his little quirks. That had never happened to Raj before, where his date was not shocked and turned off by his impairment.

She was the kindest, most exuberant woman he ever met. She had made him happier than he remembered being in years, and never judged him for being a little different. It occurred to him that he should at least try to do the same for her.

He finally got up and tried to go to sleep. He tried to get her out of his head, but it was no use. He went to pick up and read the last thing he'd written in his composition book over and over again. Finally, he slammed it shut took it with him downstairs to get in his car.

XXX

3am in the pouring rain, Ragini opened her door to see Rajesh standing there soaking wet. His chest was heaving, he shivered violently, and his hair clung in heavy clumps around his face. He stared at her with a mournful, apologetic expression, not saying a word.

"Rajesh, what are you doing out here in the rain?"

His car had a dead battery. There was no one around to jump it. Instead of waiting until morning, or at least until the buses were running, he just ran all the way to her house. He would tell her all that later, though. Instead of answering her, he held out a Ziploc back that kept a folded up sheet of notebook paper dry.

Ragini stared at it quizzically before taking the paper and gently unfolding it. She saw that it was the ripped out page from the composition book that said _"I love you. Whatever it is I will still love you."_

She just stared at the paper, unsure of what to say.

"It's true. I do love you, Ragini." he said as he panted and looked at her imploringly.

She looked up at him with a big, teary smile. "I love you, too, Raj."

"Look, I don't know if we're going to get married. I just wanted to let you know that I still see it as an option. This is just going to take-"

"A lot of getting used to, I know." Ragini nodded and leaned against the door frame.

"That's not an excuse, though. I acted like a total douche and I'm sorry." he said in a fervent tone.

"I forgive you Raj. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"No, I think it's a good thing you didn't. I would have acted even worse than I did tonight if I didn't know you so well." Raj paused with a thoughtful look on his face.

"What is it?" asked Ragini.

"Does this mean I'm gay after all?"

Ragini laughed, "Well, I am legally a woman, so it doesn't have to if you don't want it to."

Raj nodded, "Ok, so when you say legally a woman…"

"Yes, it means I've had surgery in my unmentionable areas." she said playfully, "I still can't have kids, though. I don't think the surgery can ever get _that_ advanced." She suddenly wiped her face, self-conscious of the tear streaks down her cheeks.

Raj shrugged, "I don't mind adopting. I still think you'll make a fantastic mother."

Ragini squealed and hugged Raj tight, getting her nightgown completely soaked, "I'm so lucky to have you, Raj!" She backed up and looked at her gown clinging to her, "Let's, um, get you some dry clothes and you can spend the night if you like. You're going to catch cold!"

Raj donned her pink, fluffy robe while his clothes tumbled in the dryer. He relaxed on her couch and she brought him a steaming mug of tea before plopping down next to him. Raj could not help but admire her expert decorating skills; her house looked better than a page out of an Ikea catalog.

"I love your chipper color palate in here. Those lilac curtains look so soft." he said conversationally as he gazed around the room.

Ragini simply stared at him with a cocked eyebrow before she barked out a laugh, "Did you really come just to talk about my curtains?" Suddenly the two of them were laughing, and it just escalated until there were tears squeezing out of the corners of their eyes. Of course there was nothing that funny about curtains, but it was just an expression of all the tension being released, of the bizarreness of Rajesh's visit only to comment on something as trivial as curtains, and of both of their relief that they were both still able to sit and laugh together after all that had happened that night.

It crossed both of their minds that they could probably continue on to the more carnal activities that their evening had been leading them to before the news of Ragini's past, but instead they just talked until the early hours of the morning before slouching against each other into an exhausted slumber.

It felt so liberating for Raj to finally be able to speak to the woman he loved. _What a nice little loophole,_ he thought, as he fell asleep smelling her lavender shampoo.

**Author's note: I do not own Big Bang Theory and thank the creators of the show for making it hilarious. I do, however, own my OC, Ragini. This was my first BBT fic and it was so fun to write it! Thank you for the reviews with such detailed feedback, especially from ****partbritishtowhead****, who offered me some constructive criticism on how to make the story better! I always appreciate supportive input from other writers.**


End file.
